Boss: if there was a nuclear world war, 99% of the Swiss citizens will survive it. Whatever you see above ground in Switzerland there is a copy of it underground. Before they can build anything, a hospital or a school, they must build it underground first.
Me: there are a lot of foreigners living in Switzerland, during a nuclear war they won't be allowed into the vault?
Boss: no, unless they buy the citizenship really quick. I should have bought the Swiss citizenship last time I was there, it was going for only $ 50,000. If you are a foreigner and want to buy an apartment in Switzerland you can, but only in designated areas with other foreigners. The government keeps perfect records of everybody. Do you know that in many areas in Switzerland women are still not allowed to vote? But, to top that, in those same places, women are allowed to be elected officials.
Me: do they have the ski slopes in the vault too?
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Sausage makes you bad at hockey
This conversation took place the day after the US hockey team beat Finland 6-1 in the semifinals at the Vancouver Olympics
Boss: The Finns eat too much sausage.... big ones...... it makes them weak. Do you see what they put in sausage? It's dreadful to look at, how can you eat something like that?
Me: So the Finns are bad at hockey because they eat sausage? Actually, the Finns are traditionally excellent at hockey. They've won the most Olympic medals then anyone in hockey since '94
Boss: no.... they eat sausage, they can't be good. By the way, is Poland good at hockey?
Me: no, not at all
Boss: you see, I told you.... sausage makes you weak.
Boss: The Finns eat too much sausage.... big ones...... it makes them weak. Do you see what they put in sausage? It's dreadful to look at, how can you eat something like that?
Me: So the Finns are bad at hockey because they eat sausage? Actually, the Finns are traditionally excellent at hockey. They've won the most Olympic medals then anyone in hockey since '94
Boss: no.... they eat sausage, they can't be good. By the way, is Poland good at hockey?
Me: no, not at all
Boss: you see, I told you.... sausage makes you weak.
Monday, March 15, 2010
They're listening to us
Boss: Do you remember on THURSDAY I said that how come Cuomo, who will be running for the governor seat himself is allowed to investigate Paterson's domestic violence case?
Me: Sure, if you say so.
Boss: And then on FRIDAY Cuomo came out and said that he is handing the case over to an independent party!!
Me: But everyone has been saying that he should do that for like a week before already.
Boss: Well I didn't hear anyone talking about it
Me: They were, trust me
Boss: No, they're listening to what we say here in the office. You know they can use the cell phones to listen to anybody even if the phone is off? The only way to make sure they can't do that is to take the battery out of the phone?
Me: Yes, I've known that for at least 5 years
Boss: So.... there you go, they're listening to us!
Me: Sure, if you say so.
Boss: And then on FRIDAY Cuomo came out and said that he is handing the case over to an independent party!!
Me: But everyone has been saying that he should do that for like a week before already.
Boss: Well I didn't hear anyone talking about it
Me: They were, trust me
Boss: No, they're listening to what we say here in the office. You know they can use the cell phones to listen to anybody even if the phone is off? The only way to make sure they can't do that is to take the battery out of the phone?
Me: Yes, I've known that for at least 5 years
Boss: So.... there you go, they're listening to us!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Toyota is being sabotaged
So we were doing our daily routine, getting some work done, doing some unrelated research on the internet about casters for furniture for his house (or something).... the usual, when the conversation steered towards........ TOYOTA
Boss: Not that I like TOYOTA in any way, the name itself makes me want to throw up, How can any person in their right mind drive a car named TO-YO-TAH, you gotta be crazy! But what is going on with this whole toyota thing is that somebody is doing it on purpose to them. How can all these things be happening to the cars and the company can not figure out the problem. They keep jumping between solutions. First it was the mat, then it was the pedal, then the software, not its not the software. The truth is that somebody figured out how to accelerate these cars remotely. Probably some hackers or.... I don't know how these things work. And it is most likely the US government that is doing this in their last attempt to revive GM Ford and Chrysler. Do you hear about these problems anywhere else in the world? No, only in United States. So I wouldn't put it past them (the government) to do this.
Me: but TOYOTA employs thousands of people in the United States too
Boss: It doesn't matter, when World War III happens who is the government going to ask to build tanks for us? Definitely not toyota. They need to keep GM and Chrysler alive for World War III
At this point I decide to stop feeding the fire because I didn't want to listen to a story about World War III, World War II, Hitler, Stalin, how the Italians were supposed to bomb his island but instead they dumped their bombs in the sea and the people were waiving to the pilots, because the Italians are lazy and didn't really want to fight or kill anybody anyway but the french are even lazier and let me tell you about the japanese and how they take off their pants and hold them when they're in the subway so they don't get wrinkles on their pants AND YOU'RE GONNA BUY A CAR FROM THOSE PEOPLE???
Boss: Not that I like TOYOTA in any way, the name itself makes me want to throw up, How can any person in their right mind drive a car named TO-YO-TAH, you gotta be crazy! But what is going on with this whole toyota thing is that somebody is doing it on purpose to them. How can all these things be happening to the cars and the company can not figure out the problem. They keep jumping between solutions. First it was the mat, then it was the pedal, then the software, not its not the software. The truth is that somebody figured out how to accelerate these cars remotely. Probably some hackers or.... I don't know how these things work. And it is most likely the US government that is doing this in their last attempt to revive GM Ford and Chrysler. Do you hear about these problems anywhere else in the world? No, only in United States. So I wouldn't put it past them (the government) to do this.
Me: but TOYOTA employs thousands of people in the United States too
Boss: It doesn't matter, when World War III happens who is the government going to ask to build tanks for us? Definitely not toyota. They need to keep GM and Chrysler alive for World War III
At this point I decide to stop feeding the fire because I didn't want to listen to a story about World War III, World War II, Hitler, Stalin, how the Italians were supposed to bomb his island but instead they dumped their bombs in the sea and the people were waiving to the pilots, because the Italians are lazy and didn't really want to fight or kill anybody anyway but the french are even lazier and let me tell you about the japanese and how they take off their pants and hold them when they're in the subway so they don't get wrinkles on their pants AND YOU'RE GONNA BUY A CAR FROM THOSE PEOPLE???
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